Scraps of my Life

To: Siblings
From: Pam
Subject: Mom

It’s that
time.

Let me give you some background…Mom
has been deteriorating significantly all summer long. She has had an opportunity to spend time in
all of your homes over the last several months…in fact, she is coming home from
J’s a week earlier than scheduled. Part of it is the fact that Mom wants to be home, but I honestly believe
a part of it is that Mom is too much for J to handle.   

J, you can place the blame on me
and messing with Mom’s meds all you want, but the fact of the matter is that I’m
not a doctor and didn’t write those prescriptions nor the directions involved
with them. I’ve been dealing with Mom
sleeping during the days and up all night for months…part of the reason I am
so crabby (other than I am my father’s daughter) is sleep deprivation, pure and
simple. And just like you, she keeps my
husband and son up as well. I understand
it’s much easier to blame me for everything than to admit to yourself that Mom is declining…but she is. She has a hard time dressing and undressing,
falls daily, short term memory is almost non-existent, can’t make herself lunch
(doesn’t know where the refrigerator is), and the examples are endless.

If any of you have read my blog over
the last few months you know of my frustrations and the examples of what I’ve
experienced. I’m sure you’ve all
experienced it in some form while Mom has been with you.

Here is my personal plea…I can’t be
Mom’s caregiver any longer.  My personal
health has suffered from the stress, as has Brian’s. My marriage has suffered under the stress,
but most importantly, David’s mental and physical health is starting to
suffer…this is where I have to draw the line in the sand and demand my life
back. I’m sure you would do the same if
your child was being adversely affected.  
When P comes next week, he and
I are going to be checking out in-home caregivers (both live-in and hourly), as
well as facilities that offer alzheimer’s/dementia assisted living. After we’ve gathered all the information,
P or I will get it out so we all can make an informed decision. In the meantime, please share any other ideas
you have as to how to deal with this situation. Thanks.

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