My “DARLING” hubby came soooo close…but not quite close enough! I’m still here to tell the tale.
It all started so innocently enough. Just a normal Wednesday morning. Brian arose as his alarm went off, and headed for the shower as he often does. Only this morning, just one small change in his routine, set off a chain of events that only now, in retrospect, have clued me in for what was to come.
“Normally” when Brian takes a shower, he emerges and wraps a towel around his waist and goes about the rest of his morning routine. Part of that morning routine is to dry off with the towel and then fold it in half and lay it on our carpeted bathroom floor, in front of his sink and mirror, to finish getting ready. He does this so no additional moisture seeps through and gets to the carpet pad, thus avoiding mold and mildew. After he is done at the sink he picks up the towel and puts it in the dirty clothes hamper…BUT…Today, he DIDN”T pick it up!!!!
When it was time for me to take my shower, I got in, did the usual, and emerged from the shower. One towel went on my head, turban-style, to dry my hair, the other towel went around my body. I stopped at my sink to brush my teeth then continued to my bedroom where I’d already layed out clean clothes.
It was on my way to the bedroom that my big toe got wrapped up in the fold of Brian’s towel that he so subtly left on the bathroom floor. As I felt my toe catch, I struggled to free it from the stepping motion already in progress…as my foot went down onto the ground it was with my big toe completely folded under my foot. Since this was happening in slow motion (or so my brain thought!), I tried to compensate for the toe folded under my foot and tried to land the step on the outer edge of my foot…since I was already off-balance, that ankle rolled and collapsed under me! When the ankle rolled, throwing me off balance further, I slammed my knee into the wall next to the bathtub…same knee I trashed back in June (See June Post: “Call me Graceful”). Since I wanted to stave off as much damage as possible to an already bad knee, I tried to turn, which threw my balance off further yet and landed my fat, wet, ass, in the bathtub, perpendicular to the way one would normally sit in the tub…in turn banging up Lumbar vertebrae that were already broken by a horse back on Thanksgiving 1986!
You know when cartoon characters have an anvil land on their head and they see stars circling them…well I saw stars today! But I survived…banged, bruised and walking funny, but I survived, much to my husband’s chagrin. I guess he will just have to wait to spend the insurance money on a Ferrari and a blond swimsuit model a little while longer!
Filed under: Family, Observations
You are too funny. I love reading your blog. Many times I’ve had a rough day at work, I come home, play on the computer and once in a while go to your blog. It always cracks me up. You have a fantastic way of writing….I imagine the whole thing ….like a movie.
I hope that you’ll still be able to walk in the morning (as the 2nd and 3rd day are often worse than the original injury day)
So sorry to hear. Hope you’re doing okay. I will call this weekend.