I’ve never been separated from my husband this long. It’s hard! My insecurities are running rampant. Here is the deal. I read Brian’s body language as much as I hear what he says…over the phone I can’t see him and I can’t really gauge how he is doing and it’s driving me nuts. And it worries me. Yet another reason I am so glad I am going to ND this weekend.
I’ve lost weight since Brian left so I’ve been running around buying a couple of outfits that fit and look nice rather than my usual sweatpants and sloppy t-shirt. I got my haircut yesterday. I packed make-up and a curling iron. For those of you that see me on a daily basis, you know I’m not a make-up and curling iron type of gal. I feel like a should be, but I’m not. I’ve never thought of myself as remotely good looking so why bother (the pre-election comment about “putting lipstick on a pig” comes to mind)…Wait, could that be one of my insecurities talking? Honestly though, when I do get all dolled up for an event or something, Brian doesn’t seem to notice, let alone comment.
Any way, so why am I doing all this. I guess it’s to show Brian how much I miss him and hope that he is missing me. So that he realizes during our time apart that he truly loves and needs me as much as I love and need him. And, I guess to remind us both of how it used to be before he moved to ND.
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, it just makes my insecurities run rampant! LOL
Filed under: All About Pam, Observations
